Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Two words: blizzard sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
