FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
