You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
