you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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