Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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