OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
