READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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