If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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