okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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