babies were throwing up all over the place
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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