The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
