wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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