eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
