Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
