So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i drank out of a bidet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
