therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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