I wanna passion pit in your ass
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
