I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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