9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize