I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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