All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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