Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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