Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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