Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
