I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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