Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
