The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
