I'm really into asian looking animals
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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