Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
