When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
