Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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