i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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