Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Pants are for mortals
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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