come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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