Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
