I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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