Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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