Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.