Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER