There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.