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All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
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