You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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