just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
