I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
