Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
