So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
