he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pants are for mortals
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
