No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize