One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
