Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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