My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
