I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
