True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
