That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
