You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
