they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
