No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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