he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
