Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
