Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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