I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
