Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
