Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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