I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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