I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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